Sunday, July 30, 2006

Pretty Packages

I had just finished working out on the treadmill when I went to the lockerroom to change. I had opened my locker and taken off my shirt when the guy I noticed earlier in the locker room showed up.

He was about 6'1, pale skin. His hair was dark with speckles of gray and he had a four oclock shadow on his face. His body was average, not defined but not stocky.

I looked down at the folds of fat that slight bulged over the waistband of my sweatpants. I was instantly embarrassed. I did not want to undress in front of this man. Unfortunately, he was stationed at the mirror right across from my locker isle watching the girls softball game that was being show on the monitor above the mirror.

Grabbing my towel I wrapped it around me to try and hide the offensive flesh from sight. With the towel secured around my waist, I tried to take my sweatpants and underwear down, without showing too much. That's when I got interrupted by my handsome man.

Turning around to see me half bent with my hands up the my towel he said, "OMG, did you see how FAT that first baseman was???"

"No."

"OMG, she was HUGE. I can't believe how BIG she was."

He turned back around still exclaiming to himself and the monitor about the girls weight. I quickly undressed and headed for the shower changing my opinion of the man. I should know by now to beware of things in pretty packages.

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Monday, July 17, 2006

Shore Pride

Ok, I'm part of a shore pride group, and we are trying to get things to be more social and get more people involved. We have a yahoo website with two hundred some people, but usually it's the same fifteen people that attend. Anyone have any suggestions????

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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Return of the Recluse

After 3 years, I decided to finally go out again on my own. I chose to go to Philly. After my experience, I understand why I am a recluse......

Top Ten Highlights of the Night.....

1. Accidentally walking into an Asian massage parlor.
2. Having a guy come up to me and tell me I have an EVIL look on my face.
3. Hearing a guy actual say, "You'll never guess who I friend listed on Myspace.......Kevin Federline!" then high-five his friends.
4. Hearing the pick up line, "You know those things will kill you!" to which the smoking man replied, "So what, fuck it!"
5. Learning that I am horrible as a follower on the dance floor.
6. Learning that I don't know any of the new country line dances.
7. Having half a drink of vodka and seven up and being knocked on my ass by it
8. Listening to guys have a contest of when they last smoked weed.
9. Ending up being the hand towel attendant in the bathroom.
10. Realizing that sign language is a useful tool at gay bars and nightclubs.

My Social 'Gaydom'

You always hear New Yorkers talk about the Upper East and Upper West sides. Well tonight as I was travelling to Philadelphia for the first time in a long time, a thought occured to me. Philadelphia is my Upper East Side.

When I began thinking more and more, I realized that I had certain boundaries to my gay social life. My Lower East Side consisted of Rehoboth Beach. My Upper West Side was Baltimore and my Lower West Side was D.C.

There I have the four corners of my social gaydom.